Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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