Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
