Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize