I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
