So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
