i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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