pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
