I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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