I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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