the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
