Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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