I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
