forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
