I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize