do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
its liver damage thursday
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
