That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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