Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you win again, gameday.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
