even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
