i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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