Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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