im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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