Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
two words: eviction party
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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