East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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