Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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