im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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