Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just want nice things and good sex
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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