he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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