I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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