this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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