Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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