I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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