bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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