She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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