something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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