Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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