I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
