this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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