There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
