he thought i was a dude.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
