my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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