I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize