I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
