you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
