my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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