Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
