I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
