Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
