break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize