what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
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This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
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Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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