Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
