She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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