did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
