Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
