doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
