watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
