Where did you get a picture of my penis
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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