Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
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remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
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For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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