maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
