this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize