Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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