Where is the hickey?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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