Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
