it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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