before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
