he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She bit a glass in half.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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