it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
