life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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